A 'good' day

Last night was difficult but it was a little better than the two nights before because I actually got some decent sleep. I woke up feeling better and more positive. Maybe I managed to be positive because I don’t get to hear the news in detail. People who have televisions know a lot more than I do. I am not seeing the terrible pictures and videos that are coming out of this war. 

Today I was just desperate to have a good normal day and so that’s what I tried to do. It’s funny - the room I’m staying in was the host family’s daughters’ room when they were younger. There are all these posters up of singers and actors from the 1990s. It’s kind of surreal to be surrounded by all these singers and actors when bombs are falling. There’s a picture up of Abdul Halim Hafez who has been my favourite singer since I was four but he passed away in the early 70s. There’s also picture of Leonardo diCaprio from the movie, ‘The Titanic’. I can't help but start thinking about the similarities between the Titanic and Gaza. Just like the Titanic, Gaza is sinking down deep into a terrible humanitarian situation. Most people in the Titanic died and so many people in Gaza are dying now. There was a whole little world going on in the Titanic and like in Gaza, people had crushes on each other, like Jack and Rose in the movie. 

I’m lucky because I’m in a place where the owner loves animals too. They actually have a cat of their own, but it got lost and we spent the whole day looking for it until we found it, alhamdulillah, before dark. Of course, just when you start to feel kind of ‘normal’ you suddenly hear the drones above and bombing around. It’s not easy but today I decided to focus on other things in life. It wasn’t just me but also the people I’m with. We decided we wanted to have a normal day no matter what. The day ended with the sound of bombing as usual. It’s like something out of a story. During the day you’re just trying to lead a normal life but it always ends with the sound of bombing and the drones are everywhere. 

I also came up with the conclusion that being resilient is not easy and I believe our people are the strongest in the world because what we are tolerating here is something that is very hard for others to even understand. I just hope that this nightmare ends as soon as possible and we can get back to our lives immediately. I want to get back to normal life - the kind of life most people in the world live - and I just want to drown in that normality. I want to forget everything that’s happened in this war and just get on with life. 

Today I noticed that some of the teenagers living in our building have crushes on each other. It was funny to me because it took me back to being a teenager myself. But it’s inevitable of course with so many people squeezed together living in a small space. Also yesterday I found a few items that I wasn’t able to get before - like chlorine tablets which are perfect to use when flushing the toilet in the bathroom because so many people are using it. 

I’m reading this book at the moment called "Imprisoned in Psychological Complications" and it’s mainly about the way we are raised in ‘eastern’ societies and how that affects our collective thinking. It’s really interesting and it’s written in Arabic. My next book will be in English because I feel like I haven’t been in contact with English enough lately and it may be getting rusty. 

Last night I finally had good internet access which I hadn’t had in ages! I was able to watch some stand up comedy. It kept cutting but I managed to get through some clips of Bassem Yousef talking about the situation in Gaza which was great to see.  Whenever I used to watch TV I always liked dramas and mainly biographies, whether soap operas or movies. Usually when I watched a movie I’m the kind of person who goes back and checks all the different reviews to get different in depth perspectives on the film. 

Overall today was a good day even though the drones have been over our heads non-stop and the sounds of bombings have been ongoing in the background.

                                                                                                 An old picture which gives me hope - the view of the sea in Gaza City. 


Location: Rafah

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A long journey

Today is the 3rd of March and I’ve had a very good morning today. I had the chance to go through some YouTube videos like I used to do before October 7th. I came across a video of a boy who was saying goodbye to his father’s body because he was being taken from him to be buried. His father had gone out to get flour from Al-Nabulsi roundabout where more than 170 people were killed as they waited to collect flour. Before he left he said to his son, “I’ll be back soon, wait for me.” In the video his son was sobbing as he tried to wake his father up. He kept saying “May your soul rest in peace” to his father’s body, which reminded me of the movie Braveheart, when at the beginning William Wallace was saying goodbye to his father before he was taken to be buried. That lit a spark in him which created a new hero who would end up liberating Scotland.  There is a lot of criticism of this movie but I consider it one of the best movies I’ve ever seen because it touches my own life and the liv...
Read more

The clock is ticking

Today is the 19th of February. In addition to all the feelings of anger, depression, sadness, agony and worst of all feeling like I’ve had to get used to things I would normally never accept in my daily life, I now also feel the clock constantly ticking. The clock is ticking all the time. We are under pressure to do everything in a hurry in order leave Rafah as quickly as possible before it is attacked. I don’t even know what my reaction is going to be like when they attack because as I mentioned earlier I have a very heavy burden on my shoulders and I need to be prepared to carry it.  I have been putting a lot of effort into getting my car fixed, trying to get it filled up with gas before it’s too late, in case we need to escape. There is so much effort involved in trying to leave Gaza. Even trying to get an explanation of how one can leave is extremely difficult but from all the research we have done and from what I can tell there are three possible ways to do it. I’m not happy t...
Read more

Will we have to flee again?

Today is the 9th of February. Time is flying and yet it feels like I’ve been here for a very long time. In spite of the fact that we are surviving it doesn’t mean we are strong, it doesn’t mean we are ok, it doesn’t mean we are coping well. It just means that in order to remain alive we have to make do with what we have. We could never have survived this far without clinging on to the hope that things will end one day and that we are going to return back to our homes and that this time will pass and will become a memory like the many hard times the Palestinians have been through.  A lot of things have been happening with me, especially as I’ve been trying to leave for a while - it’s no secret anymore. In spite of all the love I carry for my home and my city I’m finding it very hard to stay. People are really suffering and we are hearing their stories every day. I just heard a friend of ours in Rafah was taken out of the rubble alive, so that was good news. I still have to cope with...
Read more